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Purposeful Play:

A parent's primer for the early years
by Marlene Fritz

Two-year-old Devan Berry of Rigby watched closely as his mother poured a scoopful of beans through a funnel. "He had a turn, then I had a turn," says Brittney Berry. "It was okay with him if Mom had a turn."

A month earlier, Mom had watched closely as Devan carefully placed six little balls into a six-muffin tin. Then Parents as Teacher educator Ann Ahrendsen handed Devan a seventh ball. "He took one ball out of the muffin tin and put the seventh ball in there," says Brittney. "It was really amazing to watch him figure that out."

Brittney and Devan are enrolled in a Parents as Teachers demonstration project being piloted for two years through the University of Idaho Cooperative Extension System. Based on the national Parents as Teachers model, the free, voluntary program serves expectant parents and families of children under 3 years regardless of income.

Harriet Shaklee, UI extension family development specialist and a Parents as Teachers steering committee member, calls it a "readiness-to-learn program–but in this case we work with the parent to help the child."

During monthly home visits, parent educators teach parents about the changes occurring in their child’s rapidly developing brain. They bring children’s books, short videotapes on child development, and ideas for fun activities that encourage learning during that specific month of the young child’s life. Topic-oriented group meetings, links to community resources, and screenings for vision, hearing, language, and development supplement the home visits. Altogether, they form a cradle-to-classroom approach that independent researchers say boosts children ahead of their peers in language, social development, and problem-solving skills.

"Children are born to learn," says project coordinator Diane Demarest in Boise. "As their brains become organized to function for the rest of their lives, children undergo very rapid and dramatic brain growth and development." Indeed, a 6-month-old child’s brain is already half the size of an adult’s. By age 3, that brain is 80 percent of the size it will be at age 18. And as it develops, windows of opportunity open–and close–for learning intellectual, emotional, and motor skills.

Parents are children’s first and most influential teachers, says Demarest. That’s why it’s so important to share with parents how they can provide age-appropriate learning experiences for their infants and toddlers.

Parents as Teachers, already in 49 states, got its start in Idaho in 1998 through the Albertson Foundation. The UI demonstration project is designed to help evaluate the program’s effects and its fit with Idaho communities. The project is chaired by First Lady Patricia Kempthorne and funded through the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare. It added 12 new sites to Idaho’s 30 existing programs, eight of which are supervised by UI extension educators.

Demarest views the link between cooperative extension and Parents as Teachers as a natural one. "The extension mission is to take research to people," she says. "We’re taking research to parents. And Extension has contacts all over the state–a natural network that’s already developed."

In Lewiston, Judy and David Clark wanted their year-old daughter Mariah to benefit from leading-edge research in child development. The Clarks have nine children–seven of them, like Mariah, adopted from foreign orphanages.

Ask the expert:

Our son is only 16 months old and we’re already struggling with the Terrible Twos. He says "no" to everything–even to things he really wants. How long can we expect this to go on and what’s the best way to deal with it?

Children begin to say "no" a lot sometime between 14 and 30 months. Your son isn’t going out of his way to try to upset you–even though he’s very likely succeeding! He’s simply recognizing that he is a separate person from you and, given this almost overwhelming new awareness, is trying to figure out how a separate, independent person should act.

Letting people know that he has his own ideas becomes more important to him than anything else he does. And a very easy way to express this is simply to say "No!"

As a parent, you should continue to maintain firm and reasonable limits–especially on safety and health issues–and avoid giving your son choices when "no" is simply not an acceptable answer. For example, don’t debate with him about whether he’ll stay in his car seat; refuse to move the car unless he’s seated. Don’t ask him if he wants to take his bath now; let him know you’ll be bathing him in five minutes.

But you can avoid many unnecessary stand-offs by giving your child a choice when it’s appropriate. For example, at bedtime, allow him to pick between the "Runaway Bunny" and the "Big Bird" book. And in the morning, let him decide whether he’ll have apple juice or orange juice. You might even deliberately give him opportunities to say enthusiastic "No’s!" by asking him silly questions like "Do cars fly?" or "Does a dog say meow?"

This is a difficult stage for all parents to manage, but it’s an important time of learning for your son. Staying calm and supportive can get both of you through his tantrums more easily. If you say to him, "I can see that this is really upsetting you and that you’re really angry," he will feel more understood and have words to describe his feelings.

—Diane Demarest, UI Parents as Teachers demonstration project coordinator

"I want to do the best I can with my kids because I have to compensate for the months they didn’t get one-on-one nurturing," says Judy Clark.

She credits the Parents as Teachers program with making her "mindful to make moments count. I will take a minute or two that I might not have taken in the past and get down on the floor at Mariah’s level. I’m trying to spend more time making eye contact, keep more music going, read more stories to her–and, basically, I’m just more focused on the time that I spend with her."

The Clarks’ parent educator, University of Idaho alumna Alicia Robertson, feels "blessed" to be able to help parents build this bond of learning with their children. Children learn the most from the people they love, she says, and that nurturing bond "gives the child the security to go out in the world and explore."

In each participating community, Parents as Teachers advisory councils assist in hiring parent educators. "We look for someone who is very respectful of other people, who doesn’t have one set way of parenting, who is a good listener, and who is comfortable going into a home and sitting on the floor," says consultant Jerri Wolfe. Each parent educator serves up to 19 families.

Juanita Hernandez, the program’s Spanish-language educator in American Falls, used to manage a 24-unit housing project for the Idaho Migrant Council. She understands the hand-to-mouth economic pressures that send Hispanic moms and dads out to work long hours each day, allowing little time to spend with their children.

"Children are learning, learning, learning," says Hernandez. But many parents "just get up and go to work, leave the child with a babysitter, and come back and hug the baby a little bit. Yes, it’s your child and you love it, but that’s not the same as actually playing with a child and understanding the stages it goes through and why it does certain things."

Steering committee member Beverly Montgomery, who is a state representative for District 10A, has spent the last 30 years observing changes in Idaho families. A retired Canyon County extension educator, Montgomery has also worked in child protective services and correctional schools.

"Many young parents have so many demands on their lives that they don’t take the time to sit and hold their babies and look right at them while they talk with them," says Montgomery. "And many of them have not had the kind of modeling themselves that would have prepared them to observe their children for developmentally appropriate behaviors. If we want to positively impact Idaho’s children, we really must support parents with educational resources." In Emmett, parent educator Michelle Welsh strives to support her families as units and to reinforce the relationship between parents. "A new baby is a huge amount of stress on a marriage," she says.

On each visit, Welsh brainstorms with parents about the child-rearing issues they have confronted that month. "I sit down with them and work through every one. How do you feel about time-outs, how does your child respond to them, how can we make this work better, what is a developmentally appropriate plan of action that we can use consistently." "If we can make parents more at ease in their job of parenting and give them more confidence in their role, then they’re going to be a stronger couple and it’s a win-win for everyone," says Welsh.

Demarest describes Parents as Teachers as a "strength-based, rather than a deficit-based, program. It’s about affirming parents, recognizing what families do well and building on that. It’s sensitive to the needs of all types of families."

In American Falls, Head Start teacher Rosanna Campbell says being a Parents as Teacher educator gives her "oodles of satisfaction." Being the greatest teacher in the classroom won’t make that much of a difference if circumstances at home don’t support learning, she says. "Parents are the child’s most important teacher—and they always will be."

 

Developmental discoveries

At 8 to 14 months, children are exploring objects with their hands and eyes together. Encourage safe explorations by helping them build a tower of two or three blocks. Don’t worry if the blocks are not directly one on top of the other; kids will enjoy the tumbling as much as the building. Place a plastic milk bottle in front of them and show them how to put in a wooden clothespin (without a spring). Then, help them turn the milk bottle upside down and shake it out. In the bathtub, demonstrate how to squeeze a small sponge or let them practice filling and pouring cups, jars, and spoons with water.

At 10 to 18 months, children seem happiest when they know an adult is nearby. Let your child work alongside you as you do housework. Make a puppet out of a sock. Near the toe, draw a face and name the puppet Duster. Show your child how Duster wraps himself around the top of a table leg and slides down. Or put Duster on your child’s hand and guide it across or down the furniture.

Your 2-year-old is beginning to learn that change is a process. Put a few ice cubes in a bowl and set the bowl in a warm place. Watch how the ice melts. Next, let the water in the bowl freeze in the refrigerator or outside. Ask your child to tell you what happened.

Parents as Teachers National Center, Inc.