FOR RELEASE THE WEEK OF OCT. 28, 2001:

My sister and brother-in-law have asked me to co-sign a loan. What are the potential implications for me?

When you co-sign a loan, you’re guaranteeing the debt, says Marilyn Bischoff, University of Idaho Extension family economics specialist. That means if the borrower doesn’t pay the debt, you will be obligated to pay. Make sure that you can afford to pay and that you’re willing to accept this responsibility.

You may have to pay up to the full amount of the loan if the borrower doesn’t pay. In addition, you may even have to pay late fees or collection costs, which add to the total. And, if the debt is ever in default, that may become part of your credit rating.

If you pledge property to secure a loan, such as your automobile or furniture, you could lose those possessions if the borrower doesn’t repay.

Consider that when you are asked to co-sign a loan, you are being asked to take a risk that a professional lender will not take. Lenders only require co-signers when the borrower does not meet the lender’s criteria for making a loan.

Can listening to music really help my 4-year-old learn better?

Listening to music, singing along and playing a musical instrument all help children learn, says Diane Demarest, University of Idaho coordinator of the Parents as Teachers demonstration project.

“Scientists have found that music involves the left, right, front and back portions of the brain, which explains why people can learn and retain information more readily when it’s set to music,” she says. That confirms what parents have seen when their toddler quickly learns songs, nursery rhymes and books with rhyming cadences.

Through songs, rhymes and musical instruments, children learn the patterns underlying rhythms, sounds and syllables—an essential skill for beginning readers, Demarest says. They improve their “receptive” language—the language they hear and understand—when they follow the directions in an “action” song. And they build their “expressive” language—the language they speak—when they sing along. Indeed, children will sometimes sing words that they’re not yet saying.

“You use different parts of your brain to sing than to speak,” Demarest says. “That’s why it’s been possible for people who stutter to become famous singers.”

Songs can also help children learn colors, numbers, seasons, animals and directions. Listening to classical music can build memory and concentration, and practicing a musical instrument can increase spatial reasoning. Indeed, researchers have found that preschoolers who have had eight months of keyboard lessons are better able to work mazes, draw geometric figures and copy patterns of two-color blocks—all important spatial skills that will help them later with higher forms of math.

“Children love music,” says Demarest. “They respond positively to it and it can be used to meet a variety of physical, cognitive, social, behavioral and emotional needs."

For more information on the effects of music on learning, Demarest recommends “Good Music, Brighter Children” by Sharlene Habermeyer. It’s published by Prima Publishing.

I would like to teach my children to be punctual but my husband, who is frequently late himself, thinks being 20 or 30 minutes late is “no big deal.” I feel that our kids, who are now in grade school, will be at a disadvantage later on, when many people who matter to them will consider being late a big deal. How can I proceed without my husband “on board”—or shouldn’t I try?

“Don’t give up!” says Barbara Petty, University of Idaho Extension educator and developer of the university’s “Married and Loving It” program. “Recognize that you and your husband are taking two different approaches to teaching your children about timeliness. You are trying to teach the value of being on time, and your husband is unintentionally modeling the consequences of not being punctual.”

When your husband delivers your children to their athletic events, scout meetings and music lessons 20 or 30 minutes late, they will learn about such consequences as missing half the lesson or forfeiting the opportunity to be on the starting team. “I’m sure they’ve already encountered the frustration of waiting on Dad,” Petty says.

“Being on time is one of those admirable qualities that reaps great benefits and should be the goal for everyone,” she adds. “Just don’t be so rigid that your children risk life and limb to make curfew.”

A deeper question is how you and your husband resolve this issue so that it does not erode your marriage. Ideally, says Petty, your husband would support you in your requests for timeliness from your kids, even though he considers timeliness a low priority. “If he doesn’t back you up, eventually you’ll come to resent his lack of support and feel that he is undermining your authority as a parent”—and those sorts of feelings can lead to untimely ends of marriages.

[READERS: Do you have a question about your home, yard or garden? Send it to HomeWise, University of Idaho Ag Communications, Moscow, ID 83844-2332 or e-mail it to homewise@uidaho.edu. Mention of proprietary products or firms does not constitute endorsement by University of Idaho Extension or imply approval to the exclusion of other suitable products or firms.]