FOR RELEASE THE WEEK OF MARCH 25, 2001:
Our 11-year-old daughter plays soccer very well and is highly critical of any teammates who don’t perform to her standards. Our efforts to encourage more tolerance on her part seem to be undermined by a very competitive coach. Are we right to be concerned?
Harriet Shaklee, University of Idaho extension family development specialist, agrees with your concern. "Probably the biggest value of youth sports is the camaraderie, the team-building and the character-building that goes on," she says. "Winning at all costs is not the goal of youth sports."
Children–and even coaches–confuse the behavioral norms of youth sports with those of professional sports, Shaklee says. "In professional sports, it’s win-win-win and you get fired if you don’t. But we want our children to play sports so they can develop the skills to work with others, learn how to work hard to attain a goal, and practice supporting and encouraging each other."
Try to convince your daughter that her teammates will learn more from her encouragement–
and some one-on-one practice–than from her criticism. That’s a key lesson in developing rewarding human relationships, Shaklee notes.
Don’t be surprised if your daughter’s critical words and actions don’t change immediately. "The strongest tools parents have are guidance, encouragement and modeling," Shaklee says. "Any lesson takes a while to sink in. Keep the messages coming and in a variety of different ways."
Norwalk viruses–named for the town in Ohio where the first one was discovered–are a family of similar, but individually distinct, food-borne viruses that cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain and sometimes headache and low-grade fever. According to Sandy McCurdy, University of Idaho extension food safety specialist, only a few Norwalk virus particles are required to cause illness.
Fortunately, symptoms are self-limiting and mild, and sufferers usually recover within two or three days without serious or long-term health effects. Some experts believe Norwalk-like viruses are the most common cause of food-borne illness in the U.S. today, but because diagnosis is difficult and symptoms mild, their incidence is underreported.
Norwalk viruses rarely make headlines until large outbreaks occur. Most outbreaks are associated with contaminated municipal water supplies, wells, lakes, swimming pools and water stored aboard cruise ships. Shellfish and salads are the most frequently implicated foods. According to McCurdy, proper cooking and reheating inactivates Norwalk-like viruses.
We just had identical twin boys. Even their grandparents have a hard time telling them apart. Helping them form separate identities is going to be a challenge. How should we go about it?
Diane Demarest, coordinator of the University of Idaho’s Parents as Teachers demonstration project, offers these tips:
Finally, Demarest urges you to "trust your children and their relationship and allow them to change within it. They will maintain balance within themselves and with each other by adjusting their relationship on their own," she says.
Idaho’s Parents as Teachers program offers parents of children under 3, or expectant parents, monthly visits from educators trained to help parents optimize their child’s learning and development. The visits are free, regardless of family income. For more information, call Demarest at (208) 343-1542 in Boise or write her at dianed@uidaho.edu.
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