FOR RELEASE THE WEEK OF JAN. 20, 2002:

Our 5-year-old son cheats at games. Is this normal? What can we do about it?

It’s normal, but you should discourage it, says Diane Demarest, University of Idaho coordinator of the Parents as Teachers demonstration project.

Reassure your son that he is loved whether he wins or loses, she says. Teach and model the meaning of fairness—for example, point out to your son that “what is fair for you is fair for everyone else; would you want your playmates to cheat on you?”

Let your son suffer the logical and natural consequences of his cheating: stop playing with him when he cheats and explain that others won’t want to play with him either.

In addition, look for ways to keep the games from being too competitive. Short games are better than long games, Demarest says. “Your child will not be so desperate to win if he hasn’t invested a lot of time and if he knows that he’ll have another chance to win very soon.”

Typically, cheating in children is one of those mistakes kids will make along the bumpy road of social learning, says Demarest. But if your son develops a pattern of dishonesty that is serious and repetitive, get outside help.

We went to our doctor with some miserably intense itching and he suspects we have mites. Where did they come from and what can we do about them?

The mites that infest people usually jump from wild birds or pet rodents and are tinier than you can see with your naked eye. Unlike dust mites, which feed on dead skin cells, these mite types feed on our blood.

“Their bites are the most maddeningly itchy thing you can imagine,” says Ed Bechinski, University of Idaho Extension integrated pest management specialist. “It’s absolute torture.”

People who suffer mite bites are often harboring wild birds in their attics—unbeknownst to them—or under their eaves. After the birds leave the nests, the mites head for the home’s living space and its warm-blooded inhabitants. “They move through cracks and crevices and blow around like specks of dust on the wind,” Bechinski says.

Hamsters can also be infested. So can cats, but that’s less likely.

“It takes weeks for people to figure out what is happening,” says Bechinski. “You get a rash—particularly in places where clothing constricts—and it’s very hard to sort out whether it’s a skin allergy, dry air, a new laundry detergent or mites. It’s a real detective story and you’ll need a doctor to help you figure it out.”

If your doctor confirms mites, as yours has, you have several courses of action to choose from. The fleas can’t reproduce on you and will eventually die, so you can wait them out for a few weeks. Bechinski doubts you’ll select that course. Instead, he advises hunting for empty birds’ nests, destroying them, and cleaning up afterwards with soap and insecticidal spray. Often, homeowners choose to hire a professional to spray cracks and crevices or “fog” the house.

I’ve vowed to organize our important documents this year. What advice can you provide?

Improved record-keeping is a great resolution, says Marilyn Bischoff, University of Idaho Extension family economics specialist. “After Sept. 11, many affected families learned too late the importance of keeping organized records,” she says. “Some of them have been unable to locate insurance policies, wills or investment information.” Here’s how to start:

· Collect crucial personal and financial-transaction papers—birth certificates, Social Security cards, marriage records, divorce decrees, automobile titles and so forth.

· Identify a single location to file them all: a fireproof box, safe or safe deposit box.

· Slip the original documents in plastic covers—to protect them and to ensure that you won’t accidentally give them away—and make copies. Idaho’s Bureau of Vital Records and Health Statistics (telephone 334-5988 in Boise) can certify copies, for a $10 fee, if you plan to use copies for official verification.

· Notify appropriate people where important information is located in case you’re not available when it’s needed.

· For the records that you or your financial institution keep on computer, make printouts in case power fails and make backups on floppy disks or tapes every 60 days in case hard drives fail or viruses strike. Store the floppies or tapes in a safe deposit box or other secure location away from home.

[READERS: Do you have a question about your home, yard or garden? Send it to HomeWise, University of Idaho Ag Communications, Moscow, ID 83844-2332 or e-mail it to homewise@uidaho.edu. Mention of proprietary products or firms does not constitute endorsement by University of Idaho Extension or imply approval to the exclusion of other suitable products or firms.]